I'll Rip Your Heart Out By The Seams
by Sabaku-no-Ai
Summary: Roxas wonders why his friend does the things he doesn't allow Roxas himself to do. He means no harm. He just wanted to ask. [Axel x Roxas mild yaoi Oneshot]


♥**I'll Rip Your Heart Out By The Seams♥**

—An **AXELxROXAS** fanfiction by: SeaofSand—

(Disclaimer: Axel, Roxas, all other characters mentioned and Kingdom Hearts (c) SquareEnix)

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"Roxas, don't be a wet blanket. You're making everyone else feel like a drag." A red-haired man sighed, directed to his best friend, while he rubbed his temples.

"I feel like I _need_ a drag right now." One whom everyone calls Marluxia chimed in, before he managed to make his way through the heaps of trash and clothes in the messy room, out of the door and to the outside, cigarettes and lighter in hand.

"But why do you still do it?" a blonde boy, younger than everyone else in the room, asked the red-head. "I'm just asking, Axel." He added.

The red-head, the one supposedly named Axel, looked at the boy like he was a fairy, something that's not supposed to exist, or something along those lines. These kinds of emotions towards Roxas make him think. Although his head is cloudy right now, he just has to think.

The teen was younger than him by only a year and a half, but is a full head shorter. His frame is thinly built, but you'd be surprised to know that those thin arms wield the mighty Keyblade—with much skill, in fact. His hair was blonde and spiked up, almost to a point of exaggeration. His face was nearly completely void of any emotion.

But what fascinates Axel the most is the big, azure eyes that the boy has. He might not smile, as so much frown, but you can tell everything in his eyes. Even though he tries to hide whatever he's thinking or feeling, his eyes always end up deceiving him.

That's his best friend Roxas for you. But back to those feelings; there are times when Axel just feels like kissing him, which, he knows, would end up pretty awkward. There are times when Axel feels so pissed off that he is ready to explode and send the blonde to Hell.

But there are those more confusing times, when Roxas is a best friend, but he feels like he doesn't know it anymore. Axel doesn't feel like he has a best friend. As if Roxas doesn't know him. He felt hopeless. It's like he had a heart for one second, then Roxas went along and ripped it, only coming back after a while to sew it back in a mediocre fashion.

"I…" Axel started. "I don't know. I mean, do we have anything better to do?" he slowly held his hand to his mouth, breathing in the fumes of cocaine and nicotine. He coughed slightly before looking around with his bloodshot eyes.

It's like this everyday. Larxene was passed out on the couch—she refused to smoke, but she did drink a lot—and Saix was calmly smoking more pot. His eyes weren't even droopy, the least bit tired looking. It creeps out Axel, but he learned to not care about it, about anything. And the rest of the guys were either passed out as well, gone joy-riding, or was just missing, only to turn up again the next day.

And then there was Roxas, idly leaning on the doorframe, looking at the scene before him. Axel knew for a fact that Roxas used to smoke, maybe not pot, but simply smoke. But somehow, despite being labeled as a hypocrite, he managed to say that Roxas shouldn't do it. Axel felt as if Roxas shouldn't live like a pot-head, to be put bluntly, unlike the rest of Organization XIII.

"Then why do you say that I shouldn't do it?" Roxas monotonously asked, his blue eyes following Axel's hand as he reached for a can of beer.

"That's because you have a better life to live that ours." Axel replied shortly, opening his can and drinking deeply. Marluxia hastily walked passed Roxas and back into the room, grabbing a can for himself and his wrinkled hoodie on the floor. He muttered his goodnights to the people in the room, and walked back to his room, not far down the corridor.

Roxas watched quietly as Larxene began to wake up, ruffling her hair and yawning before disappearing into the bathroom, followed by everyone else waking up from Larxene's accidental kicks to their head. Groans filled the air.

Saix put out his smoke, and stood up, bobbing his head towards the guys and to Axel, before checking his watch, 3:08am, and walking out of the room.

Slowly, everyone emptied the room, except Larxene, whom is in the bathroom, throwing up and having a severe hang-over. Axel is helping her pull her hair back while she leans over the toilet. Once the gagging stopped, Axel washed his hands and his face, trying to wake himself up. He left the tap on for Larxene, as she washed her mouth and her hands.

Eventually, she left the room herself, "Goodnight Axel, Roxas." She said to the both of them, somewhat having a mischievous tone in her voice. Both guys bobbed their heads toward her. Roxas began to move around, helping Axel clean up his room. His feet felt slightly numb, after standing for around 5 hours.

Once everything was the least bit decent, except the ever-remaining stench of drugs and alcohol, Axel sighed and collapsed on his bed. His eyes darted to Roxas' arm, the only thing that came to view from his position, as the younger teen sat down on the bed beside him.

Axel sat up and had no strength to hold him upright. Thus he had to lean on Roxas' shoulder, which thankfully, didn't bother Roxas much. He started coughing, but as his best friend began rubbing his back, he stopped. "I hate seeing you like this, you know; all weak and pathetic."

Axel looked up to the blonde—pretty ironic—and raised a thin red eyebrow. "Was that an insult?" his voice came out raspy and soft. "Because if it was, I don't care…" he sighed.

Roxas suddenly grasped his shoulders, turning Axel's upper-half towards him. Roxas' deep sea-blue eyes met up with forest green ones. He had a slightly frustrated frown on his face, something Axel wouldn't see too often. But as the feeling changed, he wished he will never see this face again.

Roxas' expression was pained; a terrible, terrible ache. It's like he was crying, but he wasn't, but probably ready to. "No, it wasn't an insult," he managed to choke out. "It wasn't, so you should care. Stop saying that you don't care, because even if you don't, I do!" his grip on Axel's shoulders tightened, his fingers digging deep into his skin.

"…I…uh…what…?" was all Axel could manage to say. He couldn't comprehend Roxas' sudden outburst of emotion. It made him wonder. Where did that all come from? After Axel's response,—or lack of one—Roxas shook his shoulders roughly, before shuddering. His thin hands were shaking, and his expression was even more in rue.

"Don't you get it!" Roxas nearly shouted. "I don't know why, because we're not supposed to have a heart, to feel love or anything, but I care about you Axel. And…and why are you doing this to me? I hate you!" his hands let go of Axel's shoulders, and proceeded to banging Axel's chest. Surprisingly, it was weak, far from what you'd expect as Keyblade wielder.

Axel elevated his hand to Roxas' chin, and slowly pushed it up. Once again, blue eyes met green eyes. But the sea looked a little darker this time. He couldn't take it. Axel closed the already diminishing gap between their faces, and gave Roxas a long, passionate kiss.

Roxas pulled away in need of air. "…I don't care," he started. "I don't care what life I live. As long as I get to live it with you, I'm fine." Roxas looked up to his best friend and smiled.

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Reviews/criticism (with proper English and grammar) very much appreciated. Please be nice. 


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